I realize some of you who might be reading this
may have a very different view of the world than I.
As I've mentioned, I am a Christian,
but I totally respect you for having whatever beliefs you have.

Something about being with someone I loved so dearly
as they faced death, and ultimately died while I held them
really caused me to pause and think about life from a deeper perspective.

As we reached those last moments in my mom's life, it really "hit home" for me
regarding all these questions about matters of "faith" and "God".
Was it scary?  Yes.  Why?   Because this was not some
theological or philosophical debate.  This is not just a drill. 
This is the real thing.   This is life, at it's toughest and
most challenging moment... the moment where life ends.

Our death is the ultimate test, boldly asking the question
Just what exactly DO YOU BELIEVE??? 

You can't answer "let me think about it".
The time for thinking, for putting it off to ponder at a later time when you're
feeling more "spiritual" is not an option.

I can't tell you what TO believe, but this has really
made me realize that you're better off getting these issues sorted
out now for yourself, and not waiting until you are facing death.

I can tell you for a fact, death is a very scary thing, if it is simply
the end and there's nothing more to life than that harsh ending,
followed by eternal nothingness.

What you believe in that final moment when you breath your last breath
might indeed shape what happens next.   In the Christian faith, yes, absolutely
that is true.  

It's not a matter of accomplishments that gets you to some place beyond eternal nothingness... to that place we call Heaven. 
It's not a matter of spiritual points earned, or how "religious" you were. 
It's not a matter of how many times you went to church, or whether you knew how to pray with flowery spiritual sounding words. 
It's not a matter of how many scripture verses you memorized.  
It's not a matter of how educated you were, or your political affiliation, nor is it a matter of socioeconomic status, nor race, nor gender, nor anything else that we here on Earth sadly use to differentiate one another.    

More than anything else, that is what Jesus was telling us.  All this other garbage simply does not matter.  They are distractions.  In fact, Jesus was quite angered by all of the ways we made it complicated by confusing "religion" with "relationship with God".   That is why Jesus showed us "the Way", pushing all the other garbage aside.  In fact in His revealing this to us, he was (and is) The Way to something far better.    

I know I am sounding "preachy" in this, but I am not trying to be.

As I held my Mom as she breathed her last breaths, this all seemed so much clearer to me.   How silly everything else is, in how we complicate life.  We've made it harder, by thinking life is all about us and our accomplishments, OR if we think we've really messed up something about our life, then we might be tempted to think Heaven has no place for us.   I just don't believe that's true.

I can assure you, if you're on your deathbed, or if a loved-one is dying, all these things begin to really become important questions.

Ultimately, as you exhale your last breath, if you believe there is nothing more after that, then maybe your belief is fulfilled.  That is the end.  

If you believe what Jesus said and offered to you, and accept that gift, then your belief is fulfilled, and life does not end.  In fact, you enter a whole new world, and leave behind this world where we see only a dim image of God's creation, and you see clearly with new spiritual eyes.

If you believe different from this, that's ok.  
I could be wrong.  That's the hardest part for me to face.   I have no absolute proof.
None of us can truly speak from absolute 100% certainty on any of this.

Such is the case on matters of "faith". 
Ultimately in the end we will know the truth.

Even though I have stated what I believe to be true,
For you, what matters is not what I believe.
For you, what matters is what you believe.

That is the question you have to answer for yourself.

If you don't know your answer yet.  It's time to start asking questions
and find the answer you can accept for yourself.

Next:  Mourning

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Copyright: Please do not republish any of these writings without first obtaining my permission. (You may contact me by clicking on the Contact Kevin link).  All of my writings are Copyright (c) 2005 Kevin Gourley. All rights reserved.   Any reference to them should also reference the web page address as well.