[This is an adaptation of an article I wrote in July 2005 for a nonprofit organization called AdvocateWeb, of which I am founder.]

As some of you know, my Mom is a frail 86-year-old who has been battling cancer and a litany of all sorts of other ailments, eyesight failing, difficulty walking, etc. Less than two months ago, she had cancer surgery, and we didn't really know how that was going to turn out, but we are thankful she made it through the surgery and the roughest part of the recovery period.

Last week, though, we did something wonderful with Mom. We went on a week-long Caribbean cruise! It required use of a wheelchair and a walker and a little extra attention and loving, but she made it just fine! We went all over the ship, out on tenders that took us ashore to various islands, in the heat and humidity, up hills, down hills, over steps, on tour buses and taxis. It was hard on her, because we were getting up early and often not going to bed until after midnight, but she did it all (with an occasional nap)! This cruise meant a lot to her, and her determination is what kept her going.

Age and illness is taking its toll. She is in those "life is hard" years, but my intention is to be there for her. I was impressed by her determination though. She wanted to go on this cruise bad enough to overcome all of her weakness, all of the pain, and she did it.

How we handle life's tough challenges is impacted by the level of our own determination to not let the problems stop us. A lot of adversities in our lives can lead us to withdraw and just give up on living. What we defeat and what defeats us is sometimes a matter of our attitude, more than our circumstance. I'm not saying a positive attitude can cure cancer and I deeply sympathize with all who have fought that battle. I'm just saying that attitude has a big effect on how we deal with those hardships and live our lives in spite of illness and pain.

Regardless of your circumstance, I am convinced that your quality of life is shaped by your attitude, determination, and faith. What I have learned in the past few years is that my attitude is my CHOICE. I do not have to be a victim of circumstance. I do not have to stop living when life gets tough. I can keep going on, with a determination to LIVE, not just exist, as long as there is a breath in me. You can choose to have that same determination.

Accept the truth that your attitude is your choice. Choose to overcome. Choose to LIVE. Don't waste the days you have. Cherish each day like it is your last.

When you are 86 and you have cancer, you TRULY realize how important each day is. Many of us won't even make it to 86. When you reach the end of your life, whenever that will be, my hope is that you will not feel regret. Make changes while you have the opportunity to improve your life. Live. LIVE with hope and determination.

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Copyright: Please do not republish any of these writings without first obtaining my permission. (You may contact me by clicking on the Contact Kevin link).  All of my writings are Copyright (c) 2005 Kevin Gourley. All rights reserved.   Any reference to them should also reference the web page address as well.